I don't know what to name this thing anymore.

What I'm Thankful For

2009-11-20T13:42:00.000-08:00

I love this message of "what are you thankful for?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tuwid8_O8dk

Good bye, Ambien

2009-11-11T13:28:00.000-08:00

I've now officially been off of Ambien for 2 months now...whoo hoo! I never thought this day would come... (literally). I was prepared and completely content to stay on this little bedtime pill for the rest of my natural life. I have had a hard time falling asleep the last couple of years (light sleeper), and since my seperation, I almost couldn't sleep at all. So, Ambien had become a lifesaver in more ways than one. Not only would it put me to sleep, it did it quickly so I didn't have my mind wandering about all the craziness of life. The second my head hit the pillow, my mind would start thinking about anything and everything. Things to do, things that had been done, things that could possibly get done, things that make me sad, things that make me happy, do I need gas in the car?, do I have enough eggs for breakfast?...stupid stuff...important stuff...but stuff that didn't need to be thought about when one is trying to recooperate from the day and recharge their batteries. Even if I was so exhausted, I couldn't see straight, I would just lay there....for hours.

A few months ago, I decided to try to get off of it. My doctor said it takes two weeks to get out of my system, and that it's difficult to sleep the first few nights without it. I didn't sleep great, but I slept. I figured though in the end, I'd need to get back on it, and just realize it's something I might always need to get to sleep. I decided to power through though and went to GNC and picked up some Melatonin...which is a natural herbal sleep aid. That does the trick if I'm having a hard time falling asleep. I'm so happy!
So, a final farewell to my good friend, Ambien. You were amazing and did the job you told me you would do. You helped me to sleep. You made it possible for me to get up and go to work. Thank you, Ambien, but I will no longer need your services.
Forever in your debt,
Rachel

My nephew and Brother come out for a trip!

2009-10-26T05:28:00.001-07:00

My younger sister Joy has 3 children, and her middle child (Brooklynn) had the wonderful opportunity to spend 3 days with my twin sister Robyn all by herself. Since this fun escapade, her older brother Isaiah has been begging me for when it would be his turn to come spend alone time with me. It's been a difficult year to find a time to pin down, but finally I was able to get him out to visit the week before Halloween. My younger sister had reservations about him flying all by himself, so my wonderful brother, Allan said he'd leave after his last college class on a Friday and fly out with Isaiah and spend the weekend with us. We had a wonderful weekend. Isaiah really wanted to go to the Aquarium of the Pacific. I think he really liked it a lot, and I felt bad telling him we had to leave so we'd have enough time to do everything else on the agenda.
We went to In and Out Burger..and Isaiah ate his entire cheese burger!... I'm not the biggest fan of In and Out (I'm a Fatburger girl if I'm being completely honest), and I haven't eaten at one of these in years, but it's quite the experience and he got a t-shirt to take home with him as well.
He got to feed the sting rays and eagle rays...I love watching them in the water...and still consider scuba diving with them in the ocean as one of the top things I've done in my life. There's something magical about it.
I didn't do the best job with his makeup for his Halloween costume. He wanted me to write the words "BOO" in red blood makeup, but we ran out of time. He was so cute and loved the spook alley and all the booths at the carnival. I'm so glad he was excited to come the the Halloween Party!
Uncle Nathan came with us to the beach. Isaiah loves Uncle Nathan and was so happy he came. He would have been happier having him do his Halloween makeup as well I'm guessing! Isaiah had a great time. I loved watching him just happily playing in the sand and running into the water. He was excited for every little sea shell he found and was equally excited chasing the pigeons and sea gulls. He went on the roller coaster on the pier with Allan and Nathan and had a great time. I'm sad to see them go...it was such a short trip and I wish it could have been longer :)

Blog name?????

2009-10-06T07:37:00.001-07:00

I have no idea what to call this blog anymore. It can't be Nannie News now...since I'm no longer a Nannie.
I decided to go back to my maiden name when the divorce was finalized. Keeping the Nannie name would just be a sad reminder that I was happliy married once....even though currently, that is not the case. And I know myself, keeping the last name would only make it a difficult sad reminder to me. Remind me of happier times that are no more.

Ok, enough of my sad thoughts...so, what should I name this blog now? I really have no idea..not one creative bone in my body these days...and I need some help. Ideas please...make a comment as to what you think I should name it. I need all the help I can get.

Isn't she the best?!

2009-10-02T21:57:00.000-07:00

Nika turns 8 years old (oh crap, or is it 9???) on Halloween. It makes it easy to remember the day she was born. I remember buying Nathan some Oakley sunglasses for Christmas one year. He always could tell what presents he was getting...so to throw him off one year, I pretended to let it slip and mention something to do with "naming" his Christmas present and picking it up that year. He fell for it hook line and sinker. But, then he told his mom he was so excited to be getting a dog (we had talked about getting a lab, and I knew Nathan wanted a female black lab). Of course his mom called me to tell me, and I freaked out.

He was going to be so disappointed to just be getting sunglasses, that I had to get him a real dog. I couldn't find one so close to Christmas...and I had to let him in on the whole thing. I felt so bad. My stupid plan had blown up in my face. Well, Nathan went to work on his own to find a dog in time for Christmas. He went out and found a breeder near Colorado (we were visiting Nathan's family that year for Christmas and would be in Colorado when it was time to pick Nika up).

It ended up working out great because Nathan's brother Brian got a boy lab from the same litter. The two of them were adorable when they were puppies! They hated it when we'd leave at night and lock them in the kitchen as we'd go out to dinner or a movie or a play. We'd come back and every night pooped their body weight all over the floor. None of us could believe that such little things could have that much come out of their little bodies in just a few hours. We'd moan and laugh at how disgusting it was...as we were mopping and sweeping at 11pm at night.

Those two dogs were like night and day. Nika was fearless...her brother Buddy was afraid of the stairs. She'd jump run and tumble down the stairs, and Buddy would cry and whimper until someone would carry him down the stairs. She was high energy, he just wanted to lay next to somebody and nap. She'd run circles around him with some toy or other. They were adorable. When I get pictures from Nathan, I'll post her puppy pictures as well. Of course now, Buddy is HUGE and is like an old papa bear. Wants to be comfortable, and with Nathan's parents all the time...he hates being left behind on family vacations. Nika is tiny (she was the runt of the litter) and still high energy. She's super smart and will do anything you tell her to do (back up. sit...shake off the water after getting out of the pool on command)...lay her head down...whatever. They are both such great smart dogs. We really got lucky finding them.

She's adorable. A well behaved, but highly energetic dog. People still think she's a puppy. She tore her meniscus a year and a half ago and had to have surgery. She'll limp now if she runs too much on it or too hard...but her mind is still willing to go a hundred miles a minute. She is so social, sweet, and good with kids. She is besides herself with glee when she gets to ride in Nathan's truck and go to Home Depot or just the gas station. She loves anyones frisbee, or a tennis ball. She has never met a swimming pool she doesn't like. And the squirrels in the backyard torment her til there's no tomorrow. She loves to run on the treadmill and she will go on a walk with anyone holding a leash.

She's one of those dogs who rarely gets any "people food" and we mainly only feed her dog food. But on her birthday she gets to go to the fast food drive thru and get two cheese burgers and a kiddie ice cream cone. She loves it and I think I love it more to watch her get so excited. It's the one thing that Nathan and I did with her that made me feel like we were "weird dog owners". It's only once a year and she seriously thinks it the best thing since the invention of the tennis ball. This year, I'll try to film it and post it...it's something to behold...lol.
She's getting older and white hair is creeping up everywhere. It's sad to see her get older and tired so quickly. I love her with all of my being. She's made a very difficult year for me, less difficult. She would come and put her head on my lap and just sit with me. When I was packing up my things to move out of my house she would just sit in my doorway of my bedroom (she's not allowed in the bedrooms because I have asthma) and sit there with me..beaconing me to come out of the room and let her comfort me. I'd go lay with her on her dog bed and just cry. I miss that I don't see her every day...but I try to go by and walk her two times a week. She's the best dog I could have ever hoped to have and she makes me life more happy...more joyous and more gleeful. I love her. Maybe one day, I can have my own place again, and get some time to let her live and spend some time with me again on a daily basis. I'm going to hold this hope close to my heart as I really hope some day it comes true.

Girls Weekend

2009-09-28T20:44:00.000-07:00

I had a girls weekend in Vegas this past weekend. Having a relaxing time and being with best friends is the best therapy a girl can have! My divorce is finalized a week from today, and I've been very emotional these past few weeks as it's getting closer. In California, they have what they call a "cooling off" period for getting a divorce. Basically, that means there is a 6 month minimum grace period to finalize any divorce. I've been doing good with the reality of my situation for the past several months, and making the best of it. But for some reason these past few weeks have been really rough on me. I think it's that the divorce is getting close and knowing that the first Monday in October, I will no longer be married. It's a pretty scary thought for me. A few friends and I got together and headed to Vegas for a fun getaway. Celebrating 3 things: Rachel F.'s birthday, Heather's soon to be baby, and me learning to be a brave girl out on my own.....(Mormon style...no alcohol or gambling involved!). We had the best trip. We went to the number one rated spa in all of Las Vegas, we ate at (one) really good restaurant (we tried many, but only one was knock your socks off amazing). Went shopping, floated down the lazy river at the resort, laughed, ate, laughed, danced, and laughed some more.
This is the spa at the Venetian hotel called Canyon Ranch. It's over 134,000 square feet. I can't tell you how many things there are to do there. We laughed so hard that I'm sure we must have annoyed some spa goers who were trying to get some peace and quiet. They had an Igloo room where the temp. was 45 degrees. You could pick different rains to fall on you with tropical noises and light changes while in the room. We'd go from there to the Salt room (same PH as the ocean but with added aromatherapy), to the Zero Gravity room...this room is amazing and it might be too difficult for me to explain...but it was my favorite. The waiting chairs were heated, there were more than 63 individual spa treatment rooms. This place was amazing. We could have spent all day (literally 8 hours) there. I went and got a massage with a Wild Lime scalp and head treatment. Pure joy I tell you. I adore the little fruit we call the "lime" and to get it massaged into my head was really close to Utopia for me. You really must go, and plan on spending at least the very least 4 hours there. We all agreed, the best spa we've all ever been to.
This is the beginning of our first night out. We had a great time. All of us girls are so very different, and we get along great. My friends remind me of my sisters... we too, are very different but we love being together. Every one of my friends is married, and all of them but Linda and I, have children. Everyone made BIG TIME arrangements in order to go (thank you to the amazing husbands, neighbors, and extended family members who took over work duties, watched children, and kept house while we were gone). Just to give you a small idea: Linda's husband had a 3 day weekend, but worked 2 days of his 3 day weekend for Linda (since she's the manager) so she would be able to come. Rachel F.'s husband lent us his brand new truck...diesel, quad cab, extended bed so we could travel comfortably. Then he stayed home with the kids all weekend. Sheron's sister came in from San Diego to watch her little boy for the weekend AND her husband has a bad back (he's home recovering from herniated disks). Heather is very pregnant, and her husband stayed home with her son (whom got sick I might add while we were away). Her mother in law came to watch him the night we left town. What amazing families to work together so we could go have a great time.
A picture of the lazy river at night...so much fun floating and laughing. Rachel, thanks so much for finding this place...it was amazing.
Linda was brave and signed up to climb the rock wall at the spa. It was really high! Thank you girls for lifting my spirits...I appreciate all that you do for me.

Random Happenings this week

2009-09-13T15:22:00.001-07:00

This week has been a good one (minus the car damage you will see in following photos). Work was good. The weather was good. Church was good. I always feel like I have to have some major amazing thing happen to me in order for me to blog about it. I decided, if I waited for something amazing to happen, I might never blog again...lol. So, I wanted to share a few of the things I've been up to this week.

I've started this new book that my friend Kirsten recommended. It's the true story behind how the first Oxford dictionary came about (through about 20 years of research) and it's amazing. Seriously, I don't think they can make this stuff up. Reality is sometimes way more bizarre than fiction ever could be.
It's Halloween time again (well, even though it's a bit early, the stores are filling up with Halloween goodies and decorations, and that's all I need to get me motivated with this fun holiday). I'm ready to start buying Halloween stickers for my nieces and nephew's . I love this time of year.
This is what happens when on the freeway, you don't see a complete blown out tire laying in the middle of the road, and you hit it going 70 mph. I'm lucky it didn't do more damage than it did. I'm pretty worried at what this is going to cost me...wish me luck when I call the dealership and AAA tomorrow. Clint (Kirsten's husband) kind of clipped the side panel of the bumper back on, so it doesn't look as bad as it did when I took a look at it the first time. At least my rates shouldn't go up since it involved a road hazard and not another vehicle. I wish it wasn't dark outside when I was on the freeway...then possibly I could have seen it and avoided it. Car damage is never fun. It was a huge tire,too. Looked like it came off a semi truck. It wasn't just the tire tread..it was the whole tire. When I ran over it, I was amazed my car climbed over the thing and spit it out the back...(yippee...see, things could always be worse. I could have had the tire being drug under the car or had major problems).

This is one of the things I hate dealing with without a husband...car problems. It feels yucky inside just knowing I have to deal with it all by myself. But, with a dealership with open arms to take my money that I don't have, I'm rest assured they'll take care of my problem. I'm debating though....should I "white-trash" it and just get some duct tape?... I'd love to hear everyones opinion!

2nd week of recovery!

2009-09-05T19:49:00.001-07:00

I'm now finishing up my second week of recovery, and am feeling really good. Still in pain when I lay down (I think I move a lot in my sleep and the pain wakes me up) and am sitting for awhile (I think that has to do with my pants pushing on my incision). But all in all I'm doing great and can walk normal and go up stairs very well!

Today, Robyn and I went to the restaurant Grub in Los Angeles with Rachel and Stella Finger. Rachel is really good friends with the owners (Denise and Betty...Betty was on the Los Angeles season of Top Chef which airs on Bravo for any of you who are fans!). We had a delicious breakfast and I had to take a picture of my really really good hot chocolate (which came with a dusting of chocolate powder and sprinkles!). We also all found books we wanted to read at The Grove. Stella was so great on her "girls day out"..especially for being 7 months old! Caron (my mother in law) had her birthday on Saturday, and I wish I could have been there. My sister in law Stacey makes beautiful cakes and I really wish I had been there to see it, and celebrate. I am getting caught up on a lot of sleep and watching a lot of "House" tv shows. Cami and Rachel Finger have introduced me to 2 tv series that were both canceled after 1 season, but I loved both of them. One is Wonderfalls, and the other is a BBC show called Berkeley Square about a bunch of nannies!

Robyn leaves tomorrow to head back to Phoenix. She's been so helpful and I couldn't have survived this week without her...thank you, Robyn! I can't believe it's already been a week, where does the time go? :) Here's wishing everyone a wonderful Labor Day weekend!

Surgery

2009-09-01T21:29:00.000-07:00

It's been 1 week and one day since I had surgery. For the past several months I've been in a lot of pain. I figured it was brought on by the stresses of life that seem to be hiding around every corner these days, but the pain was getting worse. Finally after going to the doctor and a few ultrasounds later, found out I had several cysts on my left ovary, a fibroid, and endometriosis.

It wasn't a surgery that could be a quick laparoscopic "scope" but would require a C-section surgery with everything that comes with a C-section (minus the baby!) : 2 days minimum in the hospital, 4 to 6 week recovery, and no driving for 2 weeks. I felt the room spin as I was listening to my doctor. I knew there was no way I could take 4 to 6 weeks off of work. It wasn't like I was pregnant and had maternity leave or had 9 months to prepare for this. But the choice became simple once I realized I am loosing my health insurance once my divorce is finalized in October and it's something I need to take care of, so schedule the surgery, I did.

I had a wonderful surgeon and knew I was in good hands. I'd also done my homework and went and received a 2nd opinion from another surgeon to make sure all options were looked at. I received a blessing the day before my surgery, and felt at peace. Surgery went off without a hitch. My kidney's shut down and had a difficult time working for the first day after surgery, but thankfully started working 13 hours later....yippee! Besides that one minor hiccup, I did great.

My mom came out for the first week to take care of me. I can't begin to tell you what a saint she was to deal with me. She had to sit and listen to me cry about how I was still on a "liquid" meal diet my second day after surgery and hadn't had a real meal in days. (Because my kidney's weren't working and they didn't know why, they had me on liquid meals until all the tests were run and I was doing better.) The nurses promised me (since I began not eating any more of my gross meals of watered broth and hospital yellow jello) that if I ate all my breakfast on the 2nd day, they'd give me real food I could chew for lunch....DEAL!... Wonderful!!..I couldn't think of anything I wanted more than real food.

When the liquid diet reared it's ugly head again at lunch time I started crying and could not stop...my poor mother had to listen to me in my morphine induced, non chewing food crazy crying meltdown. I kept crying over and over, "But they promised me real food. I ate breakfast only because they promised me real food at lunch.....sob...sob...I'm not eating this...sob...sob..." My mom had to tell me it was going to be just fine. I laugh thinking back about it now...but I really felt I'd never eat real food ever again. We got it worked out and I only had to wait until dinner that night to get my deliciously soggy cooked carrots and some type of meat entree. I'd never been so happy with so meager tasting a meal in all my life. I licked my knife when I was done :)

Now my sweet twin sister Robyn is here with me for the second week, using up a week of vacation time to sit with me. She holds my books, opens heavy doors, and helps me out of bed. To top that off, I have AMAZING friends who have gone way above and beyond the call of duty to make sure I'm ok and receive any conceivable thing I could possible want or need. And on that list of "NEED" was definitely the carmel apple, chocolate dipped strawberries from Edible Arrangements, and Cinnamon Coffee Cake (why do all of my granted wishes involve food I wonder?).

My ward is amazing. My family is amazing. My friends are amazing. What more could I possibly wish for or thank Heavenly Father for? I am so blessed, and feel the weight of the blessings literally being poured out of heaven onto my lap. Nathan's sister Stacey sent me the most wonderful "get well" card today....made me cry. Between all the flowers (thank you Laura, Nathan, Rachel, Sheron, Heather, Linda, and Libby!), treats, meals, dvds, cards, gift certificates, phone calls, cookies, home made bread, laughs, movie nights at the house, late nights, books, visits, medicine, and cards; there literally isn't room enough to hold all the kindness brought to me. From the deepest part of my being, thank you everyone!

But Charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

Book of Mormon Moroni 7:47

4th of July Weekend

2009-07-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

I had a great 4th of July weekend in Arizona with my family! We all got up early one morning to go to one of Jerry's work out classes (except Robyn, who slept in). His class is intense, and I couldn't walk for 2 days afterwards.
We made it to Sal and Teresa's the last day I was there. Martha's (a friend of Amy's from high school) parents opened up a restaurant and we all went there to try it out. Sydney had made a mask of her corn tortilla.
It was great to see Allan and Kaycee. Both of them had to leave Monday night to get to work on Tuesday. We had a great time horseback riding with them as well. The day after I left all of Amy and Mike's girls got sick (plus Joy's little girl Brooklynn). They were all throwing up. I'm glad I left before I got the little bug as well. I know their drive back to Houston was touch and go, but we are glad they made it back safe and sound.
It's the first time in a very long time that we were all together. My last day there we all played "Andy I Over"...I forgot how much I love that game. It was a lot of fun teaching it to all of the nieces and nephews.
We had a lot of fun at the fireworks there in Show Low. It was great to watch them with everyone (minus my dad who stayed at home with Nika...she gets very nervous with the sound of fireworks). Amy, dad, and me went and played basketball with Jacob, Rick and Roger. We had so much fun. It was a blast to see my cousins which I don't get to see very often. We saw some great friends and had a wonderful time with family. I'm so glad Nika was able to make the trip with me this year. It was emotional and joyous to have her with me. I miss her so much when I don't see her every day.

2009-06-21T17:41:00.000-07:00

So, most of you know that Nathan and I are getting a divorce. It's been extremely sad and heartbreaking. It's definitely a 'turn in the road' and path that neither Nathan nor I ever saw for ourselves and our marriage.

It gives me a deeper depth of understanding for those going through a divorce than I ever could have imagined. My heart has always gone out to anyone that I've heard that is going through a divorce. It's one of the saddest things I can hear. Going through it personally has literally taken my breath away. I've had moments where I have to remind myself to actually 'breathe'. It takes a person to lonely dark places in your soul, where you literally need to rely on another to pull yourself out of. I know we are blessed to have people like that for us as we navigate this difficult situation we face.

Nathan and I are both so deeply grateful for those in our lives who have extended open hands and welcoming hearts. To all of those family members and friends who talk with us, pray for us, and ultimately love us. It's the love of my personal Savior and the literal 'angels' who walk among us that are getting us through. Thank you to one and all. I want you to know your prayers are felt, they do sustain us, and they are the reason I'm able to 'breathe' and carry on.

In Honor of Halloween...a Frightning Tale

2008-10-31T11:36:00.000-07:00

In honor of Halloween, I was trying to think of something scary to share. The first memory I had pop into my mind is one that happend about 3 years ago.

Nathan was on a professional paint ball team. (He has since stopped playing on a professional level because he has no time to play these days). His team, Organized Crime, had made it into the finals. They were going to be playing at the Sports Complex at Disney World. Teams from all over the world were going to be coming and they had worked so hard to get there. I can't remember what their national ranking was, but it was their best year so far. One of Nathan's teammates, Eckwood, was also Nathan's business partner. They owned a corporation together and would sometimes do side film jobs that they were hired freelance to do. Between the movie they were working on (I can't remember the movie now...I think it was Team America...the marinette movie from the creators of South Park. Who knew it would end up so crued that we couldn't recommend ever our own parents to see what sets Nathan had designed and worked on for months?!...anyways, that's a whole other blog entry).

Well Eckwood and Nathan were working 14 hour days, and practicing with their team inbetween. Eckwood lived 1 hour away, so for a week or two before their finals, Eckwood stayed with us in our guest bedroom so he wouldn't waste sleep time commuting. They left for Florida early in the morning during the week. Nate called me everyday to let me know their ranking, and how they played. They were doing well, but not as well as they wanted. Two of their rivals had beat them in one day...so depending on the standings of the rest of the day would let them know if they made it to the final round. Nate's flight from Florida was scheduled to be back on Sunday night. They had been gone for 3 days already. I was doing my usual routine of work, working out, walking the dog.

Thursday night comes and I wake up at 2 a.m. to my dog barking. She's an indoor dog and NEVER barks unless someone is at the front or back door. She has been trained really well and she's quite reliable. I got nervous as I shot up in bed wondering if I'd locked all the windows and doors. Then she barks again...and won't stop barking. I'm getting really nervous now...you know, when you can feel your heart in your throat...your whole body is pulsating and you feel the adrenaline...and the "fight or flight" instinct kicks in?!...well that's what it felt like. I grabbed my phone and called 911. The operator asked me if it could be someone in my family. I said my husband was out of state and not expected back for 3 more days. Then the operator asked if it could have been one of my children. I told her I didn't have any. She asked if it could be a neighbor. I told her no, my neighbors have my phone number and would have called instead of trying to come in my home if there was a problem. Then my dog stopped barking. I didn't know if I should take this as a good sign or a bad sign. She stopped suddenly...instantly. From bark..bark..bark...to silence. I asked the operator if she'd stay on the phone with me while I went out of my room and down the hall to check it out. She said it was best that I not do that. I was thinking...well, if someone's in my house (like I think there is)...there's nothing to stop them from now coming thru my crappy plywood bedroom door...might as well check it out. But I listened to her and stayed.

Right then, the hall light fipped on. I paniced for all that I was worth. Now my thoughts and fears were an actual reality....SOMEONE was indeed in my home. I can't really remember what lead to my complete freak out...all I know is I went into "crazy" mode and started screaming for all I was worth, "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! THE POLICE ARE ON THEIR WAY!!! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!" As Im shouting this, my hand is pushed up against my bedroom door (I don't know why I thought this would prevent someone from entering my room, but at the time it made sense to blockaide it with my body). With the other hand on the phone...I could here the operator saying that the police car was 5 blocks away.

Just then I hear Eckwoods voice shout, "It's me Rachel....It's ECKWOOD...It's me...."

I dropped to the floor (obviously at this moment all the adrenaline had left my body) and suddenly felt very ill and started to throw up. I stopped myself in time to tell the operator to call off the police...that I knew who it was...it was a friend of my husbands. She sounded irratated by this information...as if I should have known who was entering my home at 2 a.m. the whole time. She asked if I wanted the police to come in anyway. I told her no...that I was ok. I hung up the phone with her...opened my bedroom door. I've never seen Eckwood look so horribly embarrased. He kept apologizing....I left to go throw up. I was shaking...cold...clamy. I came back and he was still in the hallway. He kept apologizing saying, "didn't Nate tell you I was leaving the finals early? I came to get my bag of stuff and leave. I didn't think I'd wake you. I'm sooo sorry Rachel. I'm so sorry for scaring you."

I can't begin to tell you the anger I felt towards my husband at that moment. He knew Eckwood would be doing this and didn't THINK to tell me?! If he was physically there, I probably would have tore him to shreds with my bare hands. I don't think I've ever been so mad at him...ever. He KNOWS I'm a light sleeper...he knows I've had bad experiences here in LA (Like the time a car chase in downtown Los Angeles ended at my apartment door and the police helicopter was still looking for one fugitive on foot and he was hiding on my doorstep...I found him because I physically ran into him....next thing I know, black man 6 foot 4 inches...me, scared girl...and cop with a drawn glock and a police helicopter overhead...spotlight on all of us...yeah, I don't do so well with scary here in Los Angeles alone). How could he have not told me...or even mentioned it in passing, "By the way, Eckwood is flying home on the red eye early and will be stopping by our house in the middle of the night to pick up his things before heading home..."

The next day when I called Nathan, he thought it was funny. Again, I wanted to reach through the phone and strangle him. He really didnt understand the severity of the situation....UNTIL Eckwood called him. He told Nathan he'd never seen ANYONE look as scared as I did. He felt horrible. Even to this day, Eckwood still apologizes for that one.

Happy Halloween

2008-10-24T15:13:00.000-07:00

~Happy Halloween~

Tagged Again

2008-10-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

ok, I'll play.....A friend has tagged me and this one is tougher, I have to agree no questions...these are the rules...you have to list seven random facts about yourself and then tag 7 other people at the end of the post....

1. First Random fact about me is how much I hate these tags. I feel like all of my answers are so boring and when I read everyone elses, I feel like I learn so much about them. Then I look at mine and laugh thinking that my mom would be the only one who'd love to hear some 7 random facts about me.

2. I've been feeling kinda down lately. It's a mix of a couple things. The economy, my 401k, not working out for the past 2 months, wishing I had enough money to never work again. This week, I've tried to snap out of my funk, and just live in the moment. Being happy to be alive, have my health, grateful for my wonderful husband. And best of all, grateful I have a good job in this economy, and that we are on our way to having some semblance of food storage!

3. I love America's Funniest Home Videos. When I was little, I thought everything was funny. I could find humor in almost any situation. When I watch America's Funniest Home Videos on Sunday night, I get to laugh like a 7 year old again. My twin sister Robyn and I used to laugh at the dumbest stuff. I remember when we were in 7th grade how we started laughing at how weird the word "pan" sounded (of course that's after you say it like 20 times out loud). We laughed for almost 20 minutes on that one.

4. Sugar gum hurts my teeth. I was getting my car washed the other day, and as I was waiting to pay, I saw this bubilicious watermelon gum...and I haven't had it in years. I bought it and was chewing it while waiting til my car was done...and my teeth started to hurt. Totally took the fun out of the big watermelon smelling pink bubbles...

5. I haven't mopped my kitchen floor in over a month. I keep sweeping and swiffering it, but I haven't actually mopped it since my inlaws were in town. It's a dark color, so you can't really tell, and I just haven't had the energy to do it. Gross, I know.

6. I cross reference everything I get forwarded. I immediately go to Snopes.com before I believe in something...even if it's something that I want to believe in and just hit forward. There's too much crap going around the web these days, and I would feel remiss if I didn't reference something before sending it on.

7. My new favorite guilty pleasure is frozen yogurt. I get one every week. Either I go to Pinkberry or Golden Spoon. Both are very different, but both are very good. Every friday when I stop to deposit my check, and swing by either place and get a frozen yogurt. Even if it's cold outside, it doesn't matter...I'll get one anyway!

I'm tagging Heather G., Heather H., Heather J., Laurel, Suzanne, Beth, and Rachel F. Don't feel like you have to if you dont want to though!

Picture Tag

2008-10-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, Beth tagged me. I'm supposed to show you my 5th picture from my 5th folder in my Pictures folder. This one is kinda boring (sorry!) It's an ad I sent to everyone in our ward for a party Nate and I were in charge of for our congregation. Our ward (Valencia 3rd Ward) is pretty good with emails, so along with having handouts, I usually email something to everyone as well. We had a great time...all the Primary kids really got into this one, inviting all of their friends and neighbors. We had so many cardboard cars that all the kids made to sit in and watch the drive in movie with. Oh, and on a side note, Disney/Pixar/Buena Vista does not lend their movies out to even church (non profit) organizations...They still make you pay....oh, those oh so fun copyright laws. It was expensive to show it, but well worth it!

Great Weekend

2008-09-24T21:15:00.001-07:00

We had a great time in Catalina! Nathan's parents were able to become certified divers! On top of that, they were Nathan's first students! Nathan planned on becoming a diving instructor to be able to work with actors/sets underwater for his job. But this is a great perk in being able to certify all of our family and friends and introduce them to one of our favorite hobbies. I'm always hesistant taking pictures of myself when we dive because I can't wear any make up. Nothing...no mascara, no blush, nothing. If I do, I end up looking like a melting, humid wet clown..The great part is I can be ready as fast as Nathan every day! This picture was taken on our boat ride out of San Pedro. We were up before 5 a.m. to make it through traffic on the 405.
Me, Nathan, Caron and Mike....congrads to our two newest divers!! (is newest even a word???)
He was so good as an instructor. I was his divemaster, and boy did I love watching him teach. It's natural for him because he's such a mellow, calm type of person. Plus it was great watching our first diving instructor come out to watch Nathan...he always has such postive nice things to say and it was great with him being there since he was the first one to get us into the water....Thanks Randy! (I'll get a picture of Randy up here soon!)
Nathan's parents diving thru the kelp beds.......ahhh...I love Catalina diving!

Catalina!

2008-09-11T07:39:00.000-07:00

Nathan's parents are coming out next week so Nathan can certify them as scuba divers. They wanted to be able to scuba dive on the cruise this summer, so what a better place to get certified at than Catalina. I absolutely love diving here. It's really one of my top 5 places to dive and I feel so fortunate that it's practically in our backyard. The kelp beds here are amazing. I thought I would hate diving in cold water, but you can only see kelp in cold water diving and I can't quite describe it, but when you're about 50 feet down and you look up at these kelp beds growing all the way to the surface of the water and then sun is shining through them like rays of sunshine...it looks like the sun coming through a green stained glass window.

Caron and Mike come Tuesday, and Tuesday thru Thursday is all of their pool sessions and Friday morning we head to Catalina til Sunday to do their open water training. I'm so excited. I'll take pictures and video to upload on here so you can see it!

Twilight Series!

2008-07-31T14:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't been this excited for a series of books to come out in a long time. I love to read, and even if a book isn't that great, I usually finish it. But if I find book (let alone a series!) that I love, I get excited the way I did when I was young and discovering what kind of books I liked in grade school.

My twin sister suggested I read these books about a year ago. I was in the middle of reading an amazing book off of a book club choice, and I told her I didn't have time. I finally remembered her mentioning them to me while I was walking around Borders bookstore, and bought the first two books. It's insane, but I read them both in two days each. I have NO idea how I did it. All I can say, is these books are spell binding, and the author has a great way of writing that really sucks you into her characters. I really enjoyed her other book, the HOST. Anyways, the point of this blog is that the fourth and final book is coming out at midnight on Friday. I have a beach activity that Nathan and I are in charge of Sat. morning, but I believe I will be a stupid girl and stay up and get the book, read until 4 in the morning and suffer all day long Sat. being exhausted...just to stay up Sat. night to continue reading. There are a couple of girls in my ward that love these books. We are all hedging bets as to what we think will happen in book 4.

Nathan rolls over in the middle of the night, looks at me reading...looks at the clock and laughs.

Pelican Lake!

2008-06-27T10:03:00.001-07:00

I'm off to Pelican Lake in Orr Minnesota tomorrow! My employers have a cabin there, and they go every year for the 4th of July. They asked me almost a year ago to go with them (knowing the twins would be coming with them and just turning 1 year old). It should be a lot of fun!
They have a cabin right on the lake and all the cousins come up for 10 days and they just have a great time. To let you know how remote it is up here, the closest store to get "everything" is a Walmart that is an hour away. Being from Los Angeles, they LOVE it here, and love getting away from the every day pace!
After we come back, I'm taking some time off. My parents are in Northern California for the holiday visiting my Grandma Whipple. They will drive down and spend a week with Nathan and I. I'm really looking forward to their visit. We are taking them up the coast to the beach, to the Los Angeles Science Center, downtown to do some shopping, and my dad's favorite; to a Authentic German Restaurant here in Los Angeles for his birthday....crazy German has to eat German food :)

Tagged

2008-06-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

How To Play This Game of Tag:Post these rules on your blog.List: 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 random surprising facts about yourself.Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog!

3 Joys
1. I love to run. It's strange, but it's like religion to me. Sometimes when I'm running, my mind goes a mile a minute. I'm working out problems, schedules, to do lists. Other times when I'm running, it's complete silence in my head. I can run for 40 minutes without a single thought...strange, I know. I have bad knees now (torn meniscus in both knees) so I can no longer run outside unless it's a completely flat surface (up or down hills kills me and I limp for weeks afterwards) but I think I'd die if I couldn't run.

2. I love spending time with Nathan. I can't even begin to tell you how much he works. He works 12 hour days and he's been known to put in a few 17 hour days. It's crazy. That's why when it's the weekend, we like to just hang out together. We like to work out together, scuba dive, and work on the house. We plan our vacations way in advance, and try to make them really count. Nathan is really smart in so many areas, and I learn so much from him every day. The best part about him is he's so calm. He gives me a soft place to fall and he helps me see reason in everything.

3. I love church. I love my religion. It's the most important thing to me. I've been so blessed to always have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I've never been alone in my entire life, because I've always felt his presence. It's something I will never deny.

3 Fears
1. Money. I am constantly freaked out about money. It cost so much to live in Los Angeles. Nathan makes a great income, but he works movie to movie, TV show to TV show. So he could be out of work for 2 months in between commitments. I've been so terrified about it, I've never stopped working. I've also always worried what would happen when we have children and I stop working (who's paying the mortgage if he doesn't have work for a few months??). It's consumed me so much, we still haven't even tried to get pregnant. I've just gotten to the point this month of putting it in the Lord's hands. It doesn't mean I'm not still fearful, but it means I'm ready to stare that fear head on.

2. Death. I'm not afraid of dying, but I'm afraid of the process. How will I go? Will it be painful up until the end? Will I be young with small children left behind? I think about it a lot.

3. Heights. I love roller coasters, but I can't look when I'm clicking up to the top. Looking out when I'm high up on a roller coaster really scares me. When I went to the Grand Canyon, I couldn't get too close to the edge because I'd start to get vertigo and feel dizzy. When I surprised Nathan for his birthday to go sky diving, he wanted me to jump with him. Absolutely no way on this beautifully God given earth will I ever jump out of a plane. Nathan knows if I was in a plane that was crashing to earth and had a parachute in my hand, I'd probably choose to go down with the plane rather than jump. Crazy, I know.....

3 Goals
1. Stop obsessing about money, and get pregnant. Sounds simple enough, right?
2. Finish reading the Book of Mormon with my ward. I'm horrible about being on any reading schedule....I didn't even keep up with when the entire body of the church read it. I tend to read it much faster on my own...but somehow when it becomes a task to read so much on a given day, I tend to just blow it.
3. Play more with our dog. Our poor dog. She's gotten to wear she loves running on the treadmill more than going outside to run. It shows you how busy we are....and what horrible owners we are. Everyone thinks it so cute...but when I get home at 9pm, and I have to email someone about my calling...and she's looking at me like she wants to go for a quick run...and I'm way too tired to run, I click open my email and turn on the treadmill for her. She loves it...but I should do better, and actually take her out more than just on the weekends...
3 current obsessions/collections
1. I'm obsessed about the NBA finals...absolutely obsessed. I really hope the Celtics win tonight.
2. I'm totally obsessed about safety while scuba diving. There are a lot of things that can go wrong when you dive,..and you have to watch you nitrogen levels carefully. When you do as much diving as Nathan and I, I always try to dive smart. We dive high profile dives and you have to be careful. We own all of our own gear, and we spend a lot of money making sure it's well taken care of, and properly checked. I'm crazy about saftey. I refuse to book a whole trip somewhere out of the country just to find out some piece of gear doesn't work, and I've blown the whole day of diving (this has happend to a lot of people we know).
3.I decided some random place i want to live (Leed, England for instance) and I get online and start looking at homes and prices. I look at the pictures of the kitchen, bedrooms, yards. Nathan laughs and thinks it's weird, but I think it's a lot of fun. Next country I'm looking up: Norway.
3 Random Surprising Facts
1. My twin sister and I still don't know if we are identical or not. I change what I say when people ask me...sometimes I say identical...sometimes fraternal. My parents were told by the doctors that we were identical...but we look NOTHING alike. We look like sisters, but not twins at all. We told ourselves that we'd get DNA testing next year for our birthday so once n for all we could settle the debate. My parents get their feelings hurt (why?) when they hear us tell people we are fraternal....so we tend to say "we're identical" when they are around!
2. Celebrities are weird. A lot of the celebrities are nice enough... but they protray an image that you can have it all, be it all...and you can't. If you are a actress/mother that is on location 2/3 of the year, you can't be a great mom...end of story. TV never shows how little time these parents actually spend with their children, and it's misleading to those moms out their who are exhausted at the end of the day from devoting themselves to their families and just trying to find time to brush their teeth and shower.

3. The older I get, the more i just like to stay at home. I think when I'm elderly, I'll just be one of those old ladies, that only goes to church, and the rest of the week I putter around my house. I actually like getting older. Every birthday makes me happy and I love the thought of being old and having my elderly husband next to me on a porch swing. Getting old is better than the alternative, and I get excited every time I make it one more trip around the sun!

OK, I'm tagging Heather, Jessie, Megan, Heather H.,Jenny B....can't wait to hear what you have to say!

Go Celtics

2008-06-12T20:54:00.000-07:00

I can not begin to tell you how much this team brings me joy! I have been a Celtics fan since I was really little. My dad explained to me when I was very young the rivalry between Magic Johnson and Larry Bird when they were back in college, so I used to watch with anticipation their games and their respectful hate towards each other. I've loved the Celtics ever since. Even through the past few years, when they played like crap, I still loved them. It's honestly the only Boston team I like. I remember watching video of Larry Bird practice shooting 3 or 4 hours before team practice. And staying late to shoot some more. I had a horrible shot when I played basketball, and i was was never a "stable" player. I'd do great one game, horrible the next. That's probably one of the reasons I fell in love with this team. The were the ultimate team back then...no big egos, everyone playing for the betterment of their team, a home crowd who absolutely loved them...it made me get goose bumps watching it back then, and it does to this day when I watch games from classic sports channels.

I rushed home from work to watch the game. There was only a few minutes left in game 4 and I had it Tivo'd. I was planning on watching it from the begining...I'm a bit of a purist that way...I don't want to hear anything...I wanted to watch the game from the begining. I didn't want to hear anything on the radio, or any updates. Of course, my twin sister Robyn called and blurted out that I HAD to run home and turn on the game live...she was freaking out which made me freak out, so I turned the game on live. 2 minutes and 10 seconds left in the game...The Celtics pulled out a first win for a team that was down by 24 points in the first quarter in a play off game. That's never been done before! On top of that, their hasn't been a team in NBA history who has been down 3 games to 1 and been able to pull off an upset. I stayed up way too late to watch the game...I CAN NOT believe how intense and amazing this game was leading from the 3rd quarter until the 4th quarter. You should have seen all of those Laker fans in the stands, up on their feet, watching as their home team literally loose an incredable lead and the game. I jumped up and down, up and down!

Thank you Boston Celtics, for making this team great again. This has been an amazing year for them.....Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! (by the way, I keep my green clover love on the down low. I have no Celtics logos on my car..it would get key'd...(and living in Los Angeles, I really don't want to be shot at for showing my Paul Pierce love!)

I love this guy!

2008-06-03T10:14:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken on our Royal Caribbean cruise we took last year. I brought tons of sleeveless dresses and tank tops that I normally can not wear, and loved every minute of it..the weather was perfect. Ok, back to the reason I'm adding this post....my husband, Nathan. I can not say enough good things about my husband. Lately he's been working so hard on trying to do the little things to make me happy. For instance, he had a 4 a.m. call time, so he was up at 3 a.m. I called him at 6 pm and he had just gotten home and was exhausted. He was just feeding the dog, and was going to take a shower and go to bed. I just remembered that we needed to take our lab to the vet to get a vaccination and the vet was only open until 8pm. I wasn't going to get home in time, so he said he would take her. He got home after 8pm and still had to get up at 3 a.m. for work. Plus, he took her on a walk....well, he put her on the tredmill, but she still was walked! He never complains, and he's always the first one to help out anyone...I learn so much from his charity.
He is such a hard worker, too. He absolutely loves his job. He works so hard (usually 12 hour days). Don't get me wrong, I work 12 hour days and it's hard. But I've gone to work with him before, and his job is so physical AND mental. He's in charge of multi million dollar sets. He has to decide how to build them, what materials to use, and how many he'll need to "crew" the set. I'm shocked how many times he has to use math and equations in his job. This is one of the reasons he wanted to work in film and television instead of building homes...for the creativity and design aspect of it. He loves that every movie is different. He has worked on some great movies and tv shows, and some tv shows that were cancelled within weeks of airing...but either way, he enjoys what he does. This picture was taken when Nathan was working with Jackie Chan. They were using motion capture to do a Playstation game with Jackie Chan. They put lots of "points" hooked up to Jackie and had him do some of his signature moves to capture the essence of him. Nathan said he was quite nice. It's rare for Nathan to get a picture of any actors from the projects that he works on...usually when the set is built, Nathan's job is done, and they begin filming the next day.
A lot of you don't know that Nathan became a PADI scuba instructor this year. I only made it to Divemaster (I told Nathan there was no way on this earth I was going to go a step up to instructor). It was so much work to get to Divemaster as it was, and I had absolutely no energy to do Instructor. I think we have something like 13 certifications before we got up to Divemaster together. I'm so proud of him. He did this while working his normal 12 hour days, and studying every night. Classes were on the weekends...and he missed several weeks of Saturday yard work (our poor lawn) and church on Sundays. He did this so he will be more than qualified to work with camera crews/sets/actors while filming in the water. We absolutely love to dive, and have found it to be something we can do as a couple and I'm so glad that he worked so hard to achieve this. This picture was taken in Maui, we could hear the whales singing a few hundred yards away from us!
For Nathan's birthday last year I surprised him by taking him sky diving for the first time. We went to Lake Elsinore, and we are so glad we went there. They have such a great group of instructors, and everyone was really nice and laid back. It's always something he's wanted to get certified in, but we have enough expensive hobbies in this family as it is! He really had a great time, we have the whole thing on a video and his instructor, Christian was from Australia. Not only was he good looking, but he was so funny and had a great personality. I kept racking my brain trying to think of a single friend in Los Angeles to set him up with! Nathan is planning on doing some more skydiving with his younger brother Brian now that Brian is home from his mission. Just wanted to let you know Nathan, I appreciate all of your energy and effort into making me happy, and for always going the extra mile. I love you.

A Year Ago

2008-06-03T05:20:00.000-07:00

A year ago today my cousin Melissa came out from Northern California to spend a week with me. We had so much fun! I took her to all of the hot spots: Rodeo Drive, The Hollywood Walk of Fame, Santa Monica Pier and beach, and of course: Disneyland! Can you believe she'd never been there before?! Disneyland doesn't hold the same magic for me as for everyone else...I've been their a million times for work and it's about a 45 minute drive there, and a lot of families I've worked for in the past have season passes...so I had to take their children quite a lot. But I love taking someone who's going for the first time. We had a wonderful time...and Melissa loved it. I can't believe it's already been a year!

Foot Fetish

2008-05-31T16:38:00.000-07:00

Whenever Nathan and I are on vacation, I end up taking a picture of my feet. I started doing this while I was watching Nathan put lights on the Christmas tree a few years ago. It was taking awhile, so inbetween pictures, I'd sit there and take a few pictures of my feet. Nathan commented that he thought I had a foot fetish. I really don't...but he kept commenting on it, that it's become tradition for me to take a picture of my feet when I have the camera. It makes me laugh so hard every time I do. The top picture is of me at Disneylworld.

This picture was taken on the Royal Caribbean Cruise and we were on our way to Grand Cayman. I was so excited this night, because in the morning, we had hired a private charter to take us out to go scuba diving to The Wall and Sting Ray City. We had such a great time.

Here we go!

2008-05-31T15:52:00.000-07:00

Well, this is our new blog. I was so hesitant to do one. Everyone I know has one and 3/4 of their news is about their children. It's such a fun way to stay connected and keep in touch. However, since Nathan and I don't have children I felt odd having one...like I was wasting cyberspace or something.

I've finally gotten over myself and decided it's a good way to keep in touch (kids or no kids!). Without further ado, here we go!